Blue eyes

At the time I didn’t know how something that was supposed to complete you left you feeling so bereaved, as if you had lost someone unspeakably important to you. Who did I lose? Myself, of course, but the illusion of love had blinded me so I couldn’t see that I was slowly disappearing, as was every aspect of me with it.
Love is either a deep, boundless lake or a lie- like those pools of water that seem endless but are only dyed to deceive you. The only way to tell the difference is to jump in.

“I’ve been thinking- what would you think if I started coming back into the music industry, Hisoka-kun?” I asked, simultaneously scribbling some notes on a spare sheet of paper. I was not composing some complex piece; rather, I was mulling over a melody in my head that had come to me in a dream.
“Coming back? …Oh, right, you were a singer once. I forgot,” he replied, not bothering to glance up at me from a novel.
I huffed and crossed my arms, shifting in my seat in front of the piano to face him. “Whatever. Just answer my question.”
He shrugged and looked up. “Well… your music wasn’t really all that popular, right? That was why you left, I think. So what makes you think everything’s changed that much?”
Being my oblivious self, I had no idea whether he was being genuinely honest for my sake… or just being a jackass.
“That’s not why I left,” I murmured, turning back to my work, suddenly unable to think. Part of me wanted to dismiss it- something that is required in a stable relationship- but part of me also wanted to slam his head against the corner of a table until he bled to death.
Well, miss morbid… I thought to myself, smirking.
“Are you pouting?” I heard from close behind me, discovering that Hisoka had walked up behind me. “Okay, I’m sorry for what I said. I just see those has-beens on TV, clawing their way to stardom and… I don’t want that to be you.”
“Point taken,” I said, stiffening up. My personal space was actively being violated by the one person I was supposed to love. Still, I felt like telling him to back the hell off.
“Well, I gotta go. Come by my dorm at 7 tonight.” It wasn’t a suggestion, it was an order.
I was tired as hell of hearing those.
I said nothing in reply, and a sense of relief washed over me when I heard the door to the small University auditorium click shut. Finally, I could have a millisecond to myself to simply be Yumi- not “Hisoka’s Girlfriend.”
Why was I losing my identity?
Suddenly, I was overcome with a powerful sense of anger and I tore the music from the pages of my notebook, shoved the sheets of paper off of the piano, then balled my hands into tight fists. Pain spread in my palms as my nails dug bloody half-moons into my flesh.

“Well, what happened here?”
The moment I heard the familiar British accent, my stomach dropped for a great number of reasons: I had been caught looking like a total idiot who had no control over her temper, I was probably invading his usual hangout spot, and… I couldn’t quite put my finger on the last reason, but I knew it was there.
I simply glanced over at him while he bent to collect the fallen scraps of paper. Wanting to object, I kept my mouth shut. I noticed that Artemis saw the blood on my hands- but I suppose he knew that it had something to do with the scene in general, so he said nothing.
“I’m not sure, Akira-san,” I replied, smiling only slightly. “It just seems that someone who I thought was supposed to believe in me… well, does not. And I felt betrayed.”
“I suppose that happens to all of us at times,” he offered, his face not betraying much emotion, as usual. But if it did, perhaps it would have been sympathetic.
“Perhaps. I set myself up for this one, though,” I said, grabbing my bag and slinging it over my shoulder. I stood and prepared to leave- but apparently I had forgotten something.
“Yumi-san?”
I turned around. “Yeah?”
He handed me the music sheets he had picked up.
“Oh. Thanks,” I muttered, shoving them into the bag a bit carelessly.
“You’re welcome. Even though I don’t have a clear idea of who betrayed you and why, I know you well enough to know that you’ll get through it eventually. And I believe in you.”  
I lingered there too long, staring at him and analyzing his words too long, thinking too much. All I could do was turn and exit the room, wondering why my heart was pounding at the sight of those blue eyes.